The Gordon's: Christmas from Dad & Mom

My Kids Say the Darndest Things

Luna, "I wear panties, Carter wears Undies, Bubba wears diaperS, and dad wears PJs." (Luna-3 Dec. 2013)

Luna, "Daddy, what do you do for work?" Mike, "I am a Lawyer." Luna, "When I grow up I want to be a LOSER too!"(Luna-3, Dec 2013)

"It's good to go swimming because you get exercise and it washes your feet." (Carter, 8,June 22, 2012)

"Carter, thanks for the locket! I love it! I'm going to put a picture of you in it." (Mom) "No, Mom. Put a picture of you and me in it so we can be together forever." (Carter, Dec. 2011)

"Who wants to PEE for us?", Mike accidently said when he was trying to ask, "Who wants to PRAY for us. (Jan. 2012)

"I wish I that I was me on the Wii, cuz me on the Wii can ride my bike really good." (Carter 7, 2011)

"Mom if Jesus comes tonight can I get out of bed?" Carter asked after mom had had enough and yelled "Carter STAY IN BED!! If you get out again you can't play Playstation or the Wii tomorrow!

"The blankets were talking to me" Carter(5) said playing hide-n-seek when he was caught arguing with Oliva when they were hiding under the covers.

"Hey! That is Martin Luther King!" Olivia (7) said when she saw a preview to an Eddie Murphy movie.

"Did Jesus put batteries in me?" Carter (5)

"I want to have a C-Section!" Kaylee (10) said after learning how babies come out.

"Geesh! Sometimes I wish I were a boy!" Olivia(6) said after asking if having a baby really hurt and learning how babies come out.

"Give me some licorice," Carter said to Nicole. "Carter you need to ask her 'Please'," Mom said. "It's just Aunt Nicole."

I will not fight once with Olivia for 6 whole months if I can have my own room. (Kaylee, 10)

Mike and Olivia were playing is NBA live game when Olivia said, "All I can do is shoot." Mike said, "That is what Basketball is all about." Livy, "No, Dad. It is about having fun. It is jusame." (Olivia, 6)

"Most of the people in the world live off of rice." (Mike) "Yeah, everyone but China." (Olivia, 6).

"Of course I want a piece of candy". (Carter, 4)

"What is up with all of these 'Thank' Days...Thanks Patricks's day, Thanksgiving...." (Livy, 6)

"How is your cold sore doing?" (Mom) "It's terrible. It's an abomination on my face!" (Mike)

Carter was eating a bowl of Lucky Charms and said, "All the charms are gone, just the yucky's are left." (Carter, 4)

"What is worse not going to school or not brushing your teeth?" (Livy) "What do you think?" (Mom) "Not brushing your teeth of course!" (Livy) "Do you really think so?" (Mom) "Well Ya!" You don't want to get a black, hurting tooth.... and school is just... school." (Livy) "If you didn't go to school you would learn how to read and write and do a lot of other stuff." (Mom) "But, Mom... I already know how to do all of that." (Livy, 6)

After Carter burped I said, "What do you say?" Carter replied, "Kaylee did it."(Carter, 4).

After fixing Carter's hair for church, I walked in on Carter looking into a mirror. He said "I AM handsome!" September 2008 (Carter, 4).

"Mom, someone is smoking in the neighbors backyard. I am coming in because I don't want to become ADDICTED to the cigarette smoke." Sept. 1, 2008 (Livy, 5)

"Carter, go clean your room." (Mom). "Hmmm... How bout you do it?" (Carter, 4). This is Carter's new line whenever he is asked to do anything.

"Mom, you know that kid that was calling me 'Dogbreath'. Well you don't have to worry, he is one of my best friends now." August 2008 (Olivia 5)

"What kind of a doctor do you need for that? A nuturologist?" Kaylee said to Mike after Carter threw something and hit his crotch. June 22, 2008 Kaylee (10)

While the girls were arguing over Saturday morning breakfast, Mom said, "Kaylee, life is not about who gets the most bacon" "Or is it," Livy replied. June 22, 2008 (Olivia 5)

"Olivia and I are never going to fight again". Kaylee (10) June 2008

"Ta-morning" That is Carter's way of saying, "Tomorrow morning." Carter (4) June 2008

I was talking to a manager in a restaurant when Carter interrupted me and said, "Mom, my BOOTY itches." Carter (4) May 2008

Mike was explaining Memorial Day to the kids when he asked, Does any one know what a veteran is?" Olivia said, "Yeah, that is someone that takes care of horses and animals."

"Mom, I like your nails, not the color, just the scratch." Olivia (5) May 2008

"Kaylee, did you eat breakfast?" (Mom) "Yep, I had some Pringles". Kaylee (10) May 19, 2008

Look those people are "Avenueing". She meant "Canoeing" Olivia- May 17, 2008

I want my first car to be "dark boys". She meant "tourquise". Olivia (5) May 17, 2008 "

"Dad, you and I are boys. We have weinies. I have a little one and you have a big one." Carter (3), April 2008

"Mama, your my very best gull (girl)". Carter told his mama. Carter (Age 3) April 15, 2008

"Whatever you say, your dad-gesty" Kaylee said when asked to give back the squirt bottle to her dad. (Age 9) April 13, 2007

"I went to McKell's house today. You say 'Wow, Carter!' ". Carter said to Dad (Age 3) April 9, 2008

"Mom, when you die can I have all of your things?" Olivia (5) Feb. 26, 2008

"Daddy, your immodest!" Kaylee(2) said when she saw Mike get into the swimming pool with just his swim trunks on and nothing else.

"What am I going to do when you are all grown up and married." (Grandpa Gordon) "I think you will be dead by then." Kaylee (4)

"I had two pieces of sugar-free gum. That's the equivalent of brushing." Mike (34) said when I asked him to go brush his teeth.

"We do not go potty outside" Kaylee(2) responded when we told her, while traveling to Arizona from Utah, that she had to go potty Cowgirl style- which meant outside with no potty.

"I don't know what it is, but it isn't a razor" Kaylee(3) responding to Mike's question of what she was getting him for Christmas. (It was a razor)

"Daddy you can be Joseph and I will be Mary". (Kaylee) "Who do I get to be the angel?" (Mom) "No, mom- your the DONKEY." Kaylee (3)

"Whew! I almost died!" Kaylee (3) exclaimed while we were driving down the road, after she realized her carseat wasn't buckled.

"Jesus has a lot of faith, so he walks on the water. I have a little faith, so I walk in the water." Kaylee (3)

"I love my doht!" Olivia(3) talking about her belly button.

"Tooo..." Carter's (18 mo.) attempt to say "To infinity and Beyond" from Toy Story.

"He's dazzled by my beauty" Kaylee (5) talking about a little boy in her kindergarten class that had a crush on her.

"I have a secret, but you can't tell anybody... I like Barney" Kaylee (7)

"Are you getting married today", Olivia asked me when Mike and I were going to the temple. "You can't because I am getting married to Daddy."

"He's a girl" Carter said when asked if his pink baby doll, named Marco, was a boy or a girl.

Mrs. Smith, Olivia's kindergarten teacher, asked, "What can help us make good choices." Olivia responded, " We can listen to the Holy Ghost". Mrs Smith asked, " Is that a book?". Olivia said, "No. He is a companion to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ."

"You're black dad and we don't treat you any different" said Olivia to Mike after learning about Martin Luther King day.

"No. We want to learn how to kiss" Oliva said when mom and dad told her to close her eyes during a kissing seen while watching Man from Snowy River.

"I wish I were ugly" Kaylee (8) when she had the problem of too many boys asking her to the dance.

Feb. 4, 2008-"Stay in your bed tonight!" (mom) "Why" (Olivia) "Because it is to crowded when you come in". (Mom) "Mom, you know your bed is made for three." (Olivia)

Feb. 7, 2008- "Dad, your my bestest friend". Carter (3)

"I'm funny, remember?!" This is what Carter says when he is getting in trouble or being disciplined.

Feb. 10, 2008- "I'm not gonna wear it, but I might want to use it in a project." Livy explaining to Mike why she didn't want to throw away some underwear that had holes in it.

Feb. 13, 2008- "Kaylee, are you biting your nails?" Mom said "No, I'm just rounding and shaping them."

Feb. 13, 2008-"PaJams! Baby!" Carter (3) yelled after he put his pajamas on by himself and ran out of his room to show us.

Feb. 26, 2008-"Carter are you curios?" (Aunt Nicole) "No... I'm Carter!

March 1, 2008-"NO! Leave Livy alone! She is my friend!" Carter yelled at Kaylee when she was arguing with Olivia

March 3, 2008- "And please help us not to tease and rub it in." Kaylee's prayer (she was upset with Livy).